Business Travel Show Europe Kick Off, 23 February,
Global Travel Risk Summit Europe, April 2023,
3rd Annual Sustainable Business Travel Summit
I N C I D E N T A L L Y: Waterside
The editor would like to make it very clear that the name of his daughter and son-in-law”s new caf” restaurant was not chosen to honour British Airways headquarters building. Their Waterside sits prettily by the side of the Grand Union Cannel at Apsley Lock between Watford and Hemel Hempstead. The BA citadel also has a super pond of sorts in the ground, but the title Waterside is a trifle pretentious. The food is better at the Hertfordshire establishment too! http://www.watersidecafe.co.uk
AN AMERICAN NOT IN PARIS
Sadly the Paris Air Show has got under way without any Americans of senior rank. They are the losers. Nobody in France will notice.
There are also circulating at this time various notices said to be compiled from information provided by the US State Department, the Central Intelligence Agency, the US Chamber of Commerce, the Food and Drug Administration, the Center for Disease Control, and some very expensive spy satellites.
”THE US OVERVIEW: France is a medium-sized foreign country situated in the continent of Europe. It is an important member of the world community, though not nearly as important as it thinks. It is bounded by Germany, Spain, Switzerland and some smaller nations of no particular consequence and with not very good shopping. France is a very old country with many treasures, such as the Louvre and EuroDisney. Among its contributions to western civilization are champagne, camembert cheese and the guillotine. Although France likes to think of itself as a modern nation, air conditioning is little used and it is next to impossible to get decent Mexican food. One continuing exasperation for American visitors is that the people wilfully persist in speaking French, though many will reply in English if shouted at. As in any foreign country, watch your change at all times. THE PEOPLE: France has a population of 54m people, most of whom drink and smoke a great deal, drive like lunatics, are dangerously oversexed, and have no concept of standing patiently in line. The French people are in general gloomy, temperamental, proud, arrogant, aloof, and undisciplined; and those are their good points. Men sometimes have girls' names like Marie, and they kiss each other when they hand out medals. SAFETY: In general, France is a safe destination, though travellers are advised that, from time to time, it is invaded by Germans. By tradition, the French surrender more or less at once and, apart from a temporary shortage of Scotch whisky and increased difficulty in getting baseball scores and stock market prices, life for the visitor generally goes on much as before. A tunnel connecting France to Britain beneath the English Channel has been opened in recent years to make it easier for government and tourists (and asylum seekers) to flee to London. HISTORY: France was discovered by Charlemagne in the Dark Ages. Other important historical figures are Louis XIV, the Huguenots, Joan of Arc, Jacques Cousteau, and Charles de Gaulle, who was President for many years and is now an airport. GOVERNMENT: The French form of government is democratic but noisy. For administrative purposes, the country is divided into regions, departments, districts, municipalities, cantons and communes. There are always some elections going on. Parliament consists of two chambers, the Upper and Lower (though, confusingly, they are both on the ground floor), whose members are either right, left or don”t know. France still has some far away, long lost colonies, which are somehow part of the European Community. According to the most current State Department intelligence, the President now is someone named Jacques. Further information is not available at this time.
CULTURE: The French pride themselves on their culture, though it is not easy to see why. All their songs sound the same, and they have hardly ever made a movie that you would want to watch for anything but the scenes without clothes. And nothing, of course, is more boring than a French novel.
CUISINE: Let's face it, no matter how much garlic you put on it, a snail is just a slug with a shell on its back. Croissants, on the other hand, are excellent, though it is impossible for most Americans to pronounce this word. In general, travellers are advised to stick to cheeseburgers at leading hotels such as Sheraton and Holiday Inn. ECONOMY: France has a large and diversified economy, second only to Germany's in Europe, which is surprising because people appear to hardly work at all. If they are not spending four hours dawdling over lunch, they are on strike and blocking the roads with their trucks and tractors. France's principal exports, in order of importance to the economy, are wine, nuclear weapons, perfume, guided missiles, champagne, high-calibre weaponry, grenade launchers, land mines, tanks, attack aircraft, miscellaneous armaments and cheese. They sell aircraft whose parts are built all over the world, assembled in Toulouse, and then claimed to be a product of France. PUBLIC HOLIDAYS: France seems to have more holidays than any other nation in the world. CONCLUSION: France enjoys a rich history, a picturesque and varied landscape, and a temperate climate. In short, it would be a very nice country if it wasn”t foreign.
We Americans helped create modern France with our revolution. The French copied us. Always remember that when in France! And enjoy the air show”.