Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense gave up the ghost after a woman, failing to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments were pondered over under the Human Rights Act, telephone books were considered for banning with regard to data protection, churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.
If you still know him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.
(contributed by Miss Nanny State, an executive journalist)