ABTN spent some of the Christmas period collecting Doctor jokes that were falling out of crackers. We trust that they don”t drive you nuts and do put you in a good mood for the year ahead.
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together then
Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me.
Next please!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please
Doctor, Doctor some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.
You're too tents.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible
Who said that?
Doctor, Doctor my little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!
Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops
Doctor, Doctor I can't get to sleep
Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off
Doctor, Doctor I've lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did what happen?
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil 'till I get there
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes ” here's a kite!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog
Sit on the couch and we will talk about it
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!
Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me ” I just can't stop my hands shaking
Do you drink a lot?
Not really ” I spill most of it!
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bridge
What's come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach.
Doctor, Doctor I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Oh, you're crackers!
Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?
You have a broken finger!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog
How long have you felt like this ?
Ever since I was a puppy!
Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in ?
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God
When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards
I'll deal with you later!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen
Well sit down and write your name!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a dog
Sit!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
We must get to the core of this !
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep
That's baaaaaaaaaad !
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel wel
That's quite enough out of you !
Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible.
Yes I can see you're not all there !
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