I N C I D E N T A L L Y: Santa”s Fairy
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip. But there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones. So, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs Clause told Santa that her mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out who knows where ” More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he visited the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden all the booze and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then, the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.
He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree!
And on an aviation theme the following are from the official Royal Flying Corp accident reports of 1916.
”A BE2 pilot was seen to be attempting a banked turn at a constant height before he crashed. A grave error by an experienced pilot”.
”Sixteen BE2s and 9 Shorthorns had complete engine failures. A marked improvement over November”.
”Upon the detection of a knock, grind, rattle or squeak, the engine should at once be stopped. Knocking or grinding accompanied by a squeak indicates binding and a lack of lubricant”.
Which is just about where we came in. Don”t succumb to a lack of lubricant over the holiday period or you might rattle and squeak. Enjoy yourself.
Merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year.
A VERY SIMPLE CHRISTMAS QUIZ this year as we have decided not to tax readers' minds after such a long issue. Any experienced air traveller should be able to work out who these tail fins belong to and the alliance (and yes we have cheated. The largest logo is not quite a member yet). But do your friends know? Test them. Answers on 12 January.