I N C I D E N T A L L Y:
Last Week”s Maths.
We are sorry to confuse readers but it would seem that the number 1754 will work next year (once you have had your birthday) and 1753 before then. If you think about it is logical. Add one number every year. Doctor Ian better stick to aviation medicine!
A NEW GOVERNOR FOR CALIFORNIA
(old joke ” new version)
The new California Governor, who was officially sworn in last Monday, has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, if nobody will be offended, "Austrionics"). In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
ow ever ve ar reliably enformed zat at ze end of the Schwarzenegger dinner sty (he is likely to be followed by Marie ” and not the one in the mountains) California will be a Spanish speaking state!